Decimals

Piano student after trying a new section: 

I made 3 tiny mistakes. That means I made 1.5 real mistakes.

Me: 

What?

Piano student: 

Tiny mistakes are only .5 real mistakes. So 3 of them makes 1.5 real mistakes.

Me: 

Yes, that's right...

10 seconds later... after realizing the kid is only SIX YEARS OLD!

Me: 

Wait! Where did you learn about decimals?!

Piano student: 

From the bad, old GPS...

Me: 

Bahaha!

~Mizzoria

Take me Forevermore

This morning I posted this on Bookface, and thought I'd share it here too. 

I sure don't profess to be a poet, and I'm sure this is terrible from a literary standpoint. But I just pulled an allnighter, and those get me thinking a little more deeply sometimes. So here's tonight's ramble. :)

Oh my Dear Savior,

Sometimes I just long to be with You so much.

To see Your loving face, to feel Your touch.

I long to go to meet those who have gone on before

And hear how Your mercy brought them through to that door.

I long to see this beautiful home that You've prepared for me

The streets of gold, all things being new, and always shall be.

But more than that, O Lord, I'll rejoice for I shall never more sin

My wicked flesh which despairs me now shall never again win.

You, my loving Father, will I forever cease to fail

Completely broken free from wretched sin's jail.

You say I won't cry anymore, but maybe I will want to

To cry tears of joy in full relief that I will never again disappoint You.

You have forgiven my sin, but I still mess up so badly

And daily I must ask forgiveness, and You give it so gladly.

Oh, but Lord! For now, You have me still on earth in this world

So please keep me marching on for You, Your Gospel flag unfurled.

Patience I lack, and so little faith to believe

But by Your grace I trust Your promise, "Ask and ye shall receive."

Please wash from me my pride, my hate, my greed

Create in me a clean heart and spirit, this is what I need.

Tear down my earthly joys so vain, my safety, self, my sin

For unless all else is destroyed, there is not room enough to let You in.

So come, Lord Jesus, come into me and work

Build in me the mind of You, cast out my filthy murk.

Keep me abiding always forevermore, never leaving your feet's throne

For to wander and stray away, my heart is so prone.

My life, my soul, my every thought, I impart to you again right now

And when the time is right, Oh please hasten that at last, sinless in glory may I bow!

~Esserita 

It's not a disease! It's a SIN!

From my Real Estate Review CD-ROM -

10. Which of the following is a protected person under the 1988 Fair Housing Law as amended? 

Answer: B - An alcoholic
Explanation: Alcoholism is a disease and fits within the physical and mental handicap provision. A current drug user is not protected, although a reformed drug addict would be protected.

WUUUUUUHT?!?!?!?
Your own explanation states that drug addicts can be reformed... it is the CHOICE of "patient" to be in the state he or she is in!  It is NOT a disease! Sure, it'll handicap your facilities when you're under its influence, but that does NOT mean you've contracted a disease! Being diseased (to an extent) is NOT a choice! You can cause yourself to be sick, but that's different from choosing that state of mental/physical incapacity. Alcoholism is a SIN.

I don't know if people hear themselves when they say those kinds of things...

Yeah... that's it. :-/

~Mizzoria

Mix-up?

Why do the good students go to good schools with the good teachers? They're already good.

It's the bad students who need to go to good schools to have the good teachers teach them...

It's like sending a healthy athlete to the doctor...

What's the point?

Go prove yourself elsewhere and actually DO something with what you know!!!

-Mizzoria

Preservatives

Preservatives do not "preserve" the life of whatever food you're about to consume. 
No...
Preservatives kill all potential detrivores...
(or decomposers that break down living/dead beings into miniscule particles so that they can be absorbed by other beings ... 

in our case, it kills our digestive system as it travels down the alimentary canal or destroys body parts as the circulatory system carries these poisons to each part of our body, 

thus incurring innumerable diseases and imbalances in our physiological systems),

and coat or completely alter the chemical makeup of the food so that it is entirely unfit 

for "germs", bacteria, and other similar organisms to feed upon.

Well... all organisms except us silly humans.  

Of course, there are more natural ways to preserve food, like pickling, marinading, or coating with salt or sugar, 

but large intake of all those substances can be harmful to the human body as well...

Just not as detrimental as the ones synthetically composed.

Oh, mankind and scientists who think they're making progress...

~Mizzoria

Chinese Spelling Bee

​

 Watching the Chinese version of the national spelling bee makes me feel as though Americans cheated in language arts... and then proceeded to fail miserably.

And it also reminded me of this video:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OxoUUbMii7Q

~Mizzoria

Can't by Edgar A. Guest

Can't is the worst word that's written or spoken;

Doing more harm here than slander and lies;

On it is many a strong spirit broken,

And with it many a good purpose dies.

It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning

And robs us of courage we need through the day;

It rings in our ears like a timely-sent warning

And laughs when we falter and fall by the way.

Can't is the father of feeble endeavor,

The parent of terror and half-hearted work;

It weakens the efforts if artisans clever,

And makes the toiler and indolent shirk.

It poisons the soul of a man with a vision,

It stifles in infancy many a plan;

It greets honest toiling with open derision

And mocks at the hopes and the dreams of a man.

Can't is a word non should speak without blushing;

To utter it should be a symbol of shame;

Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;

It blights a man's purpose and shortens his Ai,.

Despise it with all of your hatred of error;

Refuse it Longmont it seeks in your brain;

Arm against it as a creature of terror,

And all that you dream of you some day shall gain.

Can't is the word that is fie to ambition,

An enemy ambushed to shatter your will;

Its prey is forever the man with a mission

And bows but to courage and patience and skill.

Hate it, with hatred that's deep and undying,

For once it is welcomes 'twill break any man;

Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying

And answer this demon by saying: I can.

-Mizzoria